She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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