I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
