My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
