rhymes with "ouble enetration"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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