I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Your penis caused this!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
