dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
