I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
The power of my boobs compel you
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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