Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
