Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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