so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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