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were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
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