I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
