Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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