sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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