If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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