you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
