the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
