Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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