We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
