Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
