i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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