I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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