Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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