I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
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By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
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Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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