drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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