Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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