He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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