I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
