He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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