Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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