i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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