I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
