The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
