The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
