Im at strip club and am horny
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
