I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
