somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
