he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
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