Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
