Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
