you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
