What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
