Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
