went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
