hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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