No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
