Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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