There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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