So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
