i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
