saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
