saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
