i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
