Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
