ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
