I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
smell my finger.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
