He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
So many bounce houses so little time
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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