Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize