Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
