What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
