No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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