I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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